"When I opened the letter from the breast center and saw the term “suspicious”, I said to myself, no big deal, lots of people have to go back and have another one. I didn’t break.
A sonogram was scheduled and the doctor told me then that he was 99% sure it was cancer. I didn’t break.
He said based on his experience the kind I had was DCIS and not invasive. Not the worst news, let's do this and move on. You know the drill: MRI, biopsy, surgeon visit, plastic surgeon, etc. Through all this, I said I can do this. Let’s get it over with and move on. I didn’t break.
The pathology report came back showing .9 cm invasive. I didn’t break.
When they said chemo would be required. I didn’t break.
When they said I would need Herceptin every 3 weeks for a year. I didn’t break.
When they said Arimidex for 5 years. I didn’t break.
Through the constipation, diarrhea, loss of hair (everywhere!), bone pain, nausea, bad taste of food, etc., I whined, I bent, but I didn’t break.
I knew it was temporary. I didn’t break.
When the MUGA test came back showing a large decrease in heart function within the first few months, I didn’t break.
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My thought process was still, this is temporary, it will be over soon and I can get back to my life. I didn't break.
Now I’ve got lymphadema! To make it worse, it’s on the side that no lymph nodes were removed! Yes, because nobody told me to not have blood draws and pressure out of that arm! No end anywhere in sight. It’s for life. The thought of massages, ordering bandages and sleeves, driving instead of hopping on a plane, being careful with everything, wearing a sleeve in 100+ degree Texas weather, has finally brought me to my breaking point.
No end in sight. I think I’ve finally broken.
Thanks for listening to me vent. I guess it’s time to put some glue on the break, and get on with life."
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What you just read was from a recent posting from a breast cancer forum message board. What this women went through is not unusual, but as you can see takes you to the "deepest depths". Most women (about 70%) are initially diagnosed with breast cancer that has already become invasive to the surrounding breast tissue.
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One in every eight women will have breast cancer.
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We are surrounded by true warriors!
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(P.S. I'm off to do a mini self retreat - back next weekend. Lots of love.)
