And my last day of year is dedicated to.....

Photo: Jo and her surgical team (nurse, surgeon and anesthesiologist)

......pain management!

Hint: It's not necessary to "tough it out" if you have pain after surgery.

I've been working with different pain killers since yesterday when the Marcaine local analgesic stopped working (it was only supposed to continue for 2-3 days after surgery). I didn't want to take narcotic pain meds as they tend to scramble the mind and I love a clear, sharp mind.

Alas, the pain became too strong (and don't wait as long as I did) and so I'm taking a mix of Vicodin (hydrocodone and Tylenol) and ibuprofen. I'm aka Ms Fuzzy Head. This seems to be keeping the pain bearable. I read that this is not meant to be a very painful operation. Yikes! I don't look forward to having a painful one!

"Jo's Hospital Story" table of contents goes like this:

+The drive to the hospital

+Arriving at the hospital

+Preadmission "delight"

+Sentinel lymph node "fun"

+Pre-surgery conversations

+The operating room

+During the surgery(!)

+Recovery room tales :(

+Hospital room etiquette

+Nurse "culture"

+The final escape!

+Ron's take on all of this!

And I can guarantee that each chapter is a story in it's self! I would have never believed that all that happened could have really happened. It did get pretty weird at times. And some of it never should have occurred (play dramatic music).

I'm a slow typist but I'm fortunately married to a fast touch typist, so, I hopefully will write my book soon ;)

Photo docu-drama to follow. Yes - Ron took many pictures (my request) thru my stay!

Wishing everyone a beautiful, peaceful and healthy New Year.

(And Joby an excellent pathology report! Still waiting)

May we truly cherish ourselves and each other.

Baby - I've got tubes!

Photo: This is the "hospital bed photo" complete with IV's, etc. (note: lovely 'Fairy Crown' to make people smile at me - it worked!)

Hello Dear Ones,

Yes, I have tubes but only two. One is a drain for the incision site which has a bulb container which I empty 3 times a day. And the other is for pain relief that I describe below.

Here's a quick lowdown but I have soooo much to tell you about!! So, more later :) (Plus my brain is still a little "funny" from all the drugs ;)

Thank you for your support just before I went to surgery (27th). I got back yesterday evening after a one night stay in the hospital. I had a mastectomy with sentinel node lymph biopsy.
I have had minimal pain. (Yay!)

I have a continuous local anesthetic (marcaine?) for about 2 1/2 days after surgery - an amazing device that administers it slowly from a ball like container held in a pouch outside my body with tubing going into the incision area (I call it my magic ball). I am also well bound up around my body so the drain doesn't move around inside. I'm off narcotics (had a morphine drip with PCA then transitioned to vicodin but only took one tablet as it made me weird!) as of yesterday 11am and I'm taking ibuprofen (600mg) and keflex antibiotic. Hopefully this will work still when the marcaine ends.

My preliminary report is the nodes were negative - double yay!

Now I have to wait for the path report - the holidays might delay it.

Send prayers,good thoughts please for a good one!

Lots of love to you all,
Joanne

PS I think I have the best surgeon. He is a perfectionist with a huge heart.

Here We Go.....

Photo: Into The Unknown

I got a call from the anesthesiologist tonight but I missed his call. He gave his cell (mobile) number but it went right to voicemail. Oh well. I do have some questions for him. I was very nauseated when I had a a general anesthetic many years ago. Plus I have some apprehension "going under". Anyway, I get to speak with him before the surgery.

Now just have to pack up my own pharmacy of herbs, tinctures, vitamins, supplements, potions(!), etc. to take with me. Plus an assortment of healing foods and drinks.

We leave the house at 5.30am to get to the hospital for 6.30am. The first procedure is at 7am; I get radioactive dye injected in my breast to locate the first (sentinel) lymph nodes. And then the actual mastectomy operation is 9am. Takes 1 1/2 to 2 hours.

Thank you so much, everyone, for your love, prayers, metta, positive energy and support!

I'll let you know how I fare.

Stay tuned for the next installment!

I'm taking a rain check for this Christmas but hope you have a merry and peaceful one!

Photo: Lyla and Wildman have a love-in

So, since this is a very spiritual day (yes - it is ;) I thought I would write about my spiritual path. Jesus and the Buddha actually had a lot in common, so, I’m sure Jesus wouldn’t have a problem with me talking about my meditation practice on his birthday.

I was very fortunate in 1987 to meet my cousin, Gerald, who very eloquently told me about his practice of meditation. Meditation, by the way, is actually a very ‘down to earth’ way to work with the mind and all of it’s goings on. Nothing woo-woo about it. Anyway, I immediately connected to what Gerald was saying. I had been searching for my vocation in life, and hearing what he was saying was like coming home to me – a very immediate knowing that this was my path.

My meditation practice has given me the ability to profoundly take charge of my life through learning to watch my heart and mind. Paradoxically, this has been through seeing how everything is, essentially, pretty much out of our control. Yes – certain things seem absolutely within our ability to control, and it’s our responsibility to use skillful judgement in all areas of our life. The things we don’t have much say over are death, other people and their behaviours, and regardless of how healthily and carefully we live, the inevitability of eventual aging, illnesses, accidents, etc. etc.

When these life events do occur our job is to control our minds/hearts. Regardless of circumstances, this is the area where we can have a powerful impact if we have trained our minds. And this is where my practice of meditation really works. Whatever life delivers up to us, if we can remain fully present with the experience, bringing forth love, kindness, wisdom and compassion, we can free our hearts from suffering, using the many tools of inner and outer wisdom to guide and support us.

This is my quest for happiness - a heart that remains open, even when the vicissitudes of life are swirling around us. And ultimately to completely free the heart from fear, anger, greed and ignorance.

If you would like to learn more about this practice try these links:
www.dharma.org
www.abhayagiri.org
www.dhamma.org

Attending to the predicament of our human condition takes patience and resilience. Cultivating the heart/mind to get to a place of balance and equanimity takes time and perseverance. Laughter, tears, sadness and joy - they are all part of our path.

Climbing the Mountain. One step at a time. One breath at a time. One moment at a time.

May we all dwell in the freedom and clarity of a peaceful heart.

A Song For My Breast

Photo: Western Swallowtail residing in my garden on a "Mary Rose" rose

Singing has been a lovely support, in one way, to help process some of the feelings that arise with this episode of my life.

One song that I have especially connected with is a song that was written for Andrea Bocelli. He sings the song as a duet with Sarah Brightman. Its title is "Time to say goodbye".

Here is the link to listen to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sp0ccQVy1og

It is sung live in concert in Tuscany.

(Thank you, Gerald, for showing me this song a few years back - it's been very useful!)

Another heart warming song is "L'Amore Sei Tu" sung by Katherine Jenkins.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li-y3YPvYP8

Happy Christmas Eve! - I hope you have been "good" this year and you get a visit from Santa tonight.

Send Positive Energy, Please.

Photo: Lyla and Zeb having a blast on the beach!

Okay - if you wouldn't mind sending copious amounts of positive, healing energy in my direction on: THURSDAY 27TH DECEMBER AT 9AM PACIFIC STANDARD TIME.

I leave the house to get to the hospital for 6am. I am then scheduled for a 7am procedure to help locate my sentinal lymph node. This is the lymph node in the armpit that is the first node that receives the lymphatic drainage from the breast. This is relatively new test that has been very effective in revealing if any cancer cells have spread or migrated from the original cancer site.

They inject a radioactive dye into the breast near the nipple. This dye then is taken by the lymphatic system to the first lymph node aka the sentinal lymph node. If there is more than one node that highlights from the dye then they will take out more than one.

The lymph node(s) that are removed are immediately microscopically examined by a pathologist. If any cancer cells are seen then the surgeon will go back in and remove more to asertain it there are any negative nodes. This gives them an information how far the cancer has spread- a level 1 or 2 axillary lymph node dissection.

They supplied a tube of cream that acts as a local analgesic (lidocaine) to apply (like frosting!) 2 hours before to the injection site. Obviously this can be a painful procedure :(

The actual operation to remove the breast is scheduled for 9am. The operation takes 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Breast tissue extends from just below the collar bone over to inside the armpit and then down around the ribcage and over to the sternum (breast bone) and up to the collarbone. Apparently I will have a horizontal incision after been closed up.

The actual incision to remove the breast is eye or almond shaped; extending from the one side of the nipple up over the top and down around and below the nipple. So, an area of skin and nipple is removed as well as all breast tissue. I will have a drain inserted to the wound site that will drain the area for 5-6 days.

Good links about mastectomy and lymph nodes:
http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/surgery/mastectomy.jsp
http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/surgery/sentinel_dissection/index.jsp

They seem pretty good on pain control (very good!!). I'll have a constant measured narcotic administered, morphine I believe, with a extra pump if I need more to control pain(!). I should only have a one night stay and be able to leave the hospital using only oral painkillers (Vicodine).

The anesthesiologist will apparently call me the night before. I actually have some fear about general anesthesia. Even though it is very safe today I still don't like the idea of losing consciousness! Plus I had a knee operation when I was 19 and was so nauseated afterwards - horrible. We shall see how good they have got! I'll let you know.

Ron will, of course, be there with me and plans to spend the night with me in my room. My parents and other wonderful people offered to fly in to be with me. But this feels better. Only one night in the hospital and then home!

So, thank you for all the love, prayers, Metta, positive energy, and good wishes coming my way.

Here goes! See ya!

(I'll post more tomorrow - I'm sure!)

The Healing Spirit

Photo: Charlie and his Aunt Jo shooting hoops this summer

The power of the mind to be our best friend or worst enemy is a known phenomena. This is true with health challenges that we have to deal will. It seems that even people who get angry and react strongly to bad diagnoses, if they turn those mind states to active or fight energy, it can have a positive outcome.

There seems to be two types or ways to relate to difficulties in life - with a negative reaction or a positive one. But one person who has done a serious amount of research split these types into two further categories.

He included the energies of passive or active. So, according to him you either have active angry or active positive or passive angry or passive positive. And accordingly he has seen that the two groups that seem to benefit the most from their attitudes are the active group. They have taken an active interest in their predicament and so are very proactive in taking a strong interest in their healing journey.

Whether they are angry or happy, the important element is the desire to make a difference in how they beat their illness. They have a very strong desire to be well and healthy and continue their lives as they want and not as dictated by prognoses, etc. They ain't gonna be beat by their diagnoses and will give their true fighting spirit every chance available.

I vacillate between "No, I don't want this" and "Okay, this is how it is. Let me work it out as best I can". Right from the get-go of finding out there might be a problem in August, I was Ms. Research herself :) Go, go Joby!!

Whatever life delivers to us, how do we relate and react. From the small stuff to the bigger stuff. Are we prepared to actively "go for it"!

Happy Winter Solstice!

Photo: Sunrise, Winter Solstice 2007

The light will now increase. May our paths in this world be peaceful, safe and open hearted.

Both my husband and my mother said that, if they could, they would undertake this operation for me. (My Dad would, too, 'cos I know my Dad)

True love is boundless.

May we have boundless love for all beings.

More Medical Stuff

Photo: Western Tree Frogs, at home, in my garden

Ron and I did the medical rounds again yesterday. A final visit with the breast surgeon; this is a pre-op consult where I get to be checked physically - again. I actually got very sad and a voice in me said "NO - not again!". I started to cry and rather push through the feelings and make myself undress and put on the gown, I just stayed with the painful feelings.

Ron was great, he was a good "witness" - he was able to just be still and loving, just staying with me with no agenda of how it "should be".

I was, eventually, able to "gown up" and then the doc arrived and was very kind and compassionate. He talked me through all the paper work and happenings for next Thursday. And as he left he gave me a hugg. I feel I am extremely fortunate to have a surgeon who is both very skilled as a surgeon and has the ability to connect emotionally.

We next drove down to the hospital in the town of Sonoma. I chose this hospital as it is a smaller community hospital with more personalized care. The mastectomy operation is not considered a high risk but in the event of serious complications (highly unlikely) I could be transferred to Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital which has a trauma center.

The pre-admitting nurse was very friendly and helpful and carefully explained chronologically how the day would unfold and where to go , etc. when I arrived. I then got to have a routine chest x-ray and offer up some more blood. The blood person was very experienced with the needle stick which is always nice (!).

I continue with all my alternative treatments. The surgery part of my healing path is only a portion of my whole healing journey. In my view, holistic health incorporates all aspects of medicine. Ultimately, we each are completely 100% responsible for our own health and well being. Only we can do it for ourselves! There is no magic pill that we can just buy (sorry!).

It does take a lot of extra work to stay healthy these days, as our beautiful planet, Earth, that we live on has been seriously polluted by us humans. We live off this planet - now we get to reap our results. It is a cause and effect relationship - truly!

Sustainability. A word in common usage these days. With a wonderful meaning. Is what we do sustainable? Can "this" continue in it's present form; both for our bodies and our planet. The implications are far reaching and of dire importance.

(Hey, if you like - you can all start your own blogs and be wannabe philosophers, too! ;)

I've Got The Best!

Photo: I have the Best Husband in the World!

Sorry everybody - but if you think you have the best partner - well, I've got him ;) He is my wonderful, most amazing life partner and best friend. He has been with me every step of the way with this "interesting" time of my life.

I'm so incredibly blessed to have someone who can, literally, take the (very) rough with the smooth; stay calm and balanced in times of great adversity; and then bounce back to uplift, love and soothe.

He is with me at every medical appointment. He is a brilliant medical advocate. His mind has the analytical quality to be able to ask and see many questions around any given subject. He is a total back up for each and every interaction that I go through. He has joined me in many of my alternative treatments and lifestyle changes (good for him, too!).

He loves to shop for new and different health stuff and is so happy to present his finds to me. And he is forever exploring and researching new data and therapies in breast cancer. He makes great gourmet salads! And is the world's best hugger :) He rented a beautiful house by the ocean to support my healing especially after surgery.

He is a true spiritual best friend. Completely devoted to my true happiness and willing to facilitate anything to further my path to complete freedom.

Well, actually I could easily go on and on. (He is amazing with kids and animals, etc. etc.)

He truly is one of the most generous and sweet hearted people alive on this planet!

Thank you my brilliant and darling husband - you are the best!! xxxxxoooooo

Happy 19TH Wedding Anniversary tomorrow.

Wedding bliss. Perfection. I am the luckiest girl.

Taking the Plunge

Photo: I'd rather swim in the Arctic than have my breast removed.

The surgeon's medical assistant called and had a surgery date of Thursday, 27th December.

I took it. Aaaaaaahhhhh!

Now things do seem surreal. Who? Me!! Nah. Just a very bad dream. Gonna wake up soon. Whew. Some people have bad stuff happen. I'm pleased I'm not one of them.

Denial: our own personal inbuilt ego defense mechanism. Can come in very handy at times ;)

The assistant called the next day to confirm my operation: "A total mastectomy of the left breast with a left axillary sentinel lymph node dissection" And did I agree to this. Yes. Well, sure! Hands up all of you who "agree" to have your left breast permanently excised from your body.

And this our teaching. One of the perennial truths of existence: impermanence. This too shall pass. We are all going to die. Some sooner than others. Losing a body part is just a reminder.

"Smart Choices"

Photo: Lake Mapourika, NZ

A dear friend , who lives in New York, uses a system of decision making from a book titled: "Smart Choices -A Practical Guide to Making Decisions".
He very kindly spent over an hour with me, working through this system to help achieve some clarity on all my available options, and how they are impacted by my feelings, considerations, fears, logistical concerns, etc.

"PROACT" is an acronym to help go through the sequence.
After thoroughly going through all the "stuff" that came up regarding my current situation, my dearest friend then busily typed away to capture and summarize everything that I said. He did this so that I could later review all of the key factors, thoughts, priorities, etc. regarding my decision.

It really did help to put things in perspective. This is a great tool, and I would highly recommend it for decision making in many areas.
http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Choices-Practical-Making-Decisions/dp/0767908864/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1197608518&sr=8-1

'Thank You', my brilliant helper!

Helpers are wonderful! I know I have many at this moment. Huge gratitude and love to you all.

Another consult with the breast surgeon

Photo: "Joby on the beach" or "Life can be good but don't attach cos' you never know...."
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This kind Dr. tried a number of times to reach me by phone, to talk to me directly about my MRI results and my surgery decision. But we kept missing phone calls but we now finally got to talk, in person.

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I reviewed with him my extensive research and 2nd and 3rd opinions with the two San Francisco surgeons and then got to ask him tons of questions which he readily answered. The main problem with my particular situation is that I'm young. (Yep -41 and I'm still considered young ;)

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Young, in this instance, for breast cancer diagnosis. The rate of cancer recurrence is much higher for young women. And recurrence is to avoided at all costs! Recurrence could come back as invasive cancer (right now it is not - "in situ"). More doctor visits. More treatment; quite likely to be invasive and difficult to endure. And harder on the rest of the body. Etc. Etc.

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So, again, with all my research, thinking, "hair pulling"(metaphorically!) and deep, deep heart searching I decided to have my left breast removed.

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I could change my mind. Nothing is set in stone.

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Maybe a miracle might happen. I believe in them.

.

Everybody please keep sending positive thoughts. Prayers. Love. Healing energy. Huggs. Anything that could work! Go, go, go!

.

Thank you with all my heart.

Radiation Oncologist Consultation

Photo: Bodega Bay winter sunset



Ron and I had a long and informative visit with the radiation oncologist. Basically they irradiate any remaining breast tissue to kill any remaining cancer cells that maybe left hanging around. And the rest of the healthy cells also get blasted, this results in scarring of the blood vessels and tissue. Plus a host of other short term side effects and longer side effects. In reading extensively, one seems to putting other areas of the body at risk (remember radiation increases the risk of cancer by causes cell mutation ). "Internal scatter" results from the radiation that is directed at the breast area, part of the lung gets treated as well as the heart. The heart is in very close proximity as it lies directly behind my left breast, which the one having all this "wonderful attention".

In addition, after the surgery of a lumpectomy also known as a partial mastectomy, they will take wide margins of breast tissue which would basically delete most of my breast. I have smaller breasts, therefore, there is less breast tissue to "play" with. To have radiation to "save" the rest of my breast seems, well, kinda ridiculous. (Save some breast tissue to potentially jeopardise other parts of your body - nah, don't think so.

But of more significance, are the statistics from the medical studies which show that radiation in younger women actually can make little difference in lessening the recurrence of the cancer. One French study showed a recurrence rate of 36% for lumpectomy alone and 33% recurrence for surgery and radiation. Mastectomy has a recurrence of 1.8%.

Risk tolerance. What's your risk tolerance.

Even though they say the 5 year survival rate (yes - if you live 5 years you are a success even if you die the day after, you would still be included in the statistics as a winner.) is no different between the different Western medical treatment options the amount of invasive therapy to keep you alive is alot more if there is recurrence.

My goal is stay alive and healthy with as little Western medical intervention as possible.

Remember, I'll still be wholistic even with one breast ;)

The MRI and Good News!!

Photo: The Rat on the Cat on the Dog! Amazing! (Sent from Mudhubanini/Laura; location: Starbucks, Santa Barbara, CA)

I had the breast MRI on Monday which was an interesting experience. I laid down on my front with my breasts hanging down through special holes so to isolate them, then the MRI magnets or coils could get precise imaging of them.

I also had an IV as they administer a contrast solution half way through the test to then be able to take a second set of images to see if any areas of the breasts enhance which could mean vascularization (a blood supply) this could indicate other areas of cancer. Yikes.

They had a difficult time finding the vein in my left arm, dug around a bit but were careful to not hurt me. I suggested the right arm had a better vein which they then decided to use and got first time. Yay. It was a bit robotic like with the contrast solution administered by an automated device with the syringe attached to a line and then to my arm!

It took about 30 minutes in the machine. I had ear plugs in as the MRI is rather noisy with a lot of clunking and buzzing. I felt the contrast drug hit my system half way through - very strange sensations in my face and head.

As I left I wanted to say goodbye to the tech who had set me up for the test and when i looked around she was staring at the computer screen talking rapidly into the phone with another person also staring at the screen. My paranoid mind immediately thought the worst - they see something awful!!

My dearest husband accompanied me to this test and was there to drive me back home. A huge support!

We had a call later that afternoon from the radiology department asking us if we had my prior mammogram and ultrasound images so that could compare them with the MRI ones. This was a different system so they didn't have them. We then made the trip back in to deliver the records.

I didn't get the results until 6pm the next day. The doctor called me and kindly left a message as I wasn't home. His first words were: "Joanne, I have good news!" Now that is the kind of words one does like to hear especially with this type of thing.

The MRI showed no other further disease in either breast - just the DCIS that was initially found. This area will need to be dealt with further surgery but no other additional stuff to contend with in the breasts! Double yay!!

I will be talking with the doc to now decide what course of action to take to try and completely heal and limit recurrence of any disease.

May we all be healthy. (Eat your veggies, please)

Decisions, Decisions....

Photo: Sometimes you get rained on even when you try to take cover.

After spending many, many hours researching breast cancer and my actual diagnosis of DCIS (ductual carcinoma in situ) I feel that I am coming to a decision on how to precede.

I have been reading many medical research articles from http://www.pubmed.gov/. This is also known as Medline, and is the clearing house for nearly every major medical journal's research studies.

I found three articles that have greatly influenced my thinking :

http://jco.ascopubs.org/cgi/content/full/24/21/3381

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=17687650&ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_RVAbstractPlus

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=15026697&ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_RVAbstractPlus

They just happen to all be research that was conducted in Europe, the first one being a multi-country clinical trial.

One of the main things I learned is that there are a lot of unknowns regarding cancer and how to treat it most effectively. That is why the therapy used today is so radical - it seems that the best way they know how to treat cancer is to just blast it away with surgery, radiation and chemicals.

The journey I have undertaken to heal myself requires me to thoroughly understand every available option out there. As I said, if I knew absolutely that I could cure myself with Alternative treatments alone - I would! I know they can work, but I feel that I may not be proficient enough in their application. So, a combination of Western and Alternative is my holistic healing path to excellent health :)

The specifics of my diagnosis are:
1. I'm relatively young to have DCIS.
2. The cancer cells reacted to hormones estrogen and progesterone (ER and PR receptor positive).
3. The cancer cells were intermediate or grade 2 (how fast they are growing)
4.The area biopsied was right behind the nipple - this is a more active area of lymph and blood flow.
5. The third medical article raised concerns in regard to cancer cells moving elsewhere after a biopsy disturbs an area of the breast.

The information from the links above translates something like:

1. Younger women have a much higher recurrence of BC. The 2nd study had statistics of 31% recurrence with surgery only; 13% surgery and radiation; 2% for complete mastectomy. This covered all the age ranges. The younger women in the 2nd study had a higher recurrence ratio.
The 1st study also had a higher recurrence for younger women. Statistics in different studies do vary somewhat. But the above statistics give you an idea of the different percentages. Five year survival rates are the same but.... do you want to deal with additional treatment?!!

2. I am a number of years away from menopause. So I still have a a lengthy stretch of time for my hormones to interact with any cancer cells that might be floating around! These hormones can act as a sort of fertilizer to these errant cells.

3. The cells on the pathology report were the medium growing sort, not the slow growing kind :(

4. The nipple can also be a more "lively" area for things to move around and be taken yonder. (That could also be another way to to describe a nipple ;)

5. They cut into it!! The area was mega disturbed. Who knows what that means. Like I said, they are still learning about this cancer thing.

Do I need my breast(s). No. Not a vital organ (though, as one person said, you would think that this society thinks it is!) I love them, but I'm not defined by them.

So many unknowns. But, I think I have enough information to make an informed judgement and decision. I want to live without worrying about recurrence of cancer, or maybe even "playing" with my life!

Lose my breast but keep my life.

The Quest for Excellent Health

Photo: Rose "Fourth of July"

We each have 100% responsibility for our own well being.

That being said - do we do what is really necessary to take care of ourselves to maximize our happiness and longevity?

Any illness that presents itself- physical or mental is a great time to reflect on how we are doing.

Before my diagnosis of breast cancer I was already vegetarian, ate organic foods, weighed 122lbs/8 stone 7lbs, exercised aerobically everyday, didn't drink, didn't smoke, and took my vitamins and supplements. I now have cut out sugar and most fats since this health challenge. (What, no chocolate?! Yes - even chocolate!)

In addition I now:

Meditate daily http://www.dharma.org/ (I have done for many years)

Do chanting twice a day http://www.abhayagiri.org/ (started in June of this year)

Energy healing http://www.innersource.org/

Jin Shin Jyutsu http://www.jsjinc.net/

Acupuncture (Dr. Noe)

Art Therapy (Wonderful local support group)

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Singing Therapy

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Aerobic exercise (running, etc.)

Yoga

Stretching

Core muscle exercises (midsection ones!)

Psychotherapy (various helpers including a great husband! And T.Y. Betsy!)

Coaching sessions http://www.breastcancercoach.com/ (tentative)

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Zeolite (http://www.zeolite.com/)

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Metta practice (loving kindness - more on this later!)

Learning the ropes of higher Buddhist precepts (very cool!)

Flor-essence http://www.floressencetea.com/

"Berry Green" (organic supplement)

"Juice Plus" (supplement from Elizabeth xxxooo)

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Radical diet change (no sugar, processed stuff, etc.)

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Ongoing research and reading!

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(Plus more to come!)

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The bottom line for a healthy living structure, is, at minimum based on: healthy eating habits - low fat, sugar and salt intake, high on wholesome grains, fruits and vegetables. Drinking plenty of pure water. No smoking or alcohol consumption, the recent studies are showing a very strong link between alcohol and cancer. Regular exercise.

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And a healthy, balanced mind! A positive attitude is a great support in all situations! Many people have a spiritual or heart practice/path that is a true foundation or bedrock for being, especially in times of "testing"!

Laughter Therapy

Photo: Happy garden frog
(T.Y. Terry for this!)

Laughing. This is a novel way to strenghten the immune system, release tension, exercise (if you laugh vigourously enough) and just generally have a good time (!!)

Please click the links below to understand how to.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXEfjVnYkqM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahhN3Ryw4O4

And then start your own laughter club :)) Seriously (Well, okay - happily ;)

(Thank you, Bill, for the lead on this!!!)

The MRI that didn't happen (yet!)

Photo: Wildman sez "sleep is good, anytime dude"
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Unfortunately, the person scheduling my appointment made it for the wrong date IE: breast MRI's for premenopausal women need to be in the first half of their menstrual cycle. This is because hormones later in the cycle can affect breast tissue which can then cause the MRI to show "false positive" breast changes in the breast. Then the radiologist can't tell if these areas are cause for concern and they then have to perform biopsies to find out.

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NOOOOOO!!! No more needles and slices of breast removed unless absolutely necessary!

(I kinda empathize with Voodoo dolls).

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Ron and I tried very hard to reschedule to an earlier date - we got it a day earlier but, alas, too late. So I'll try again in three weeks.

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Until then, I get to continue my healthy healing plan for my whole body and mind :)

And continue researching BC (breast cancer) and deciding what to do about surgery, etc.

A Holistic Approach

Photo: Our homegrown "Flame" grapes (ready to eat!)

The holistic view of healing and maintaining a healthy mind and body incorporates many different modalities. Having this health challenge has made me revisit many of the alternative/complementary therapies that I have known and used in the past.

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In a London university I was in an Independent Studies programme where I got to choose my subject, then plan my own syllabus. The subject that I finally chose: "The differing perceptions of alternative medicine".

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I believe that the holistic health 'paradigm' includes both Western and Eastern approaches, and everything in between. My preference is to go with therapies that heal, while causing as little harm or side effects to the mind/body system as possible. So, firstly, I ask, "Will this therapy work?" and secondly, "What side effects, if any, will there be?"
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So I have a distinct bias towards using therapies that don't cause further damage to the body (or mind!). Alternative/complementary therapies have the least side effects. Yet, these approaches have not had the benefit of billions of dollars infused into research, studies, development of medicines, etc. etc., as Western medicine has had.

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This being so, when it comes to healing different diseases, Western allopathic medicine has the track record of controlled studies showing what works and what doesn't work within it's own modalities. I know alternative medicine can work. But when viewed from an "evidence-based medicine" model, it can be very unclear as to exactly what is going on for each therapy in relation to each disease!

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If your life was on the line, and you had to chose, what would you do?

(This can be a difficult question until one actually gets a their own real diagnosis).

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Well, I'm gonna go with them all. This is my life that I'm dealing with. So, I get to decide.

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Which reminds me, where did I put that bar of chocolate.....

The Third Opinion

Photo: "Petit Bot" one of my favourite Guernsey beaches.
(We swim around the point from one bay to the other :)

The third breast surgeon that we saw also had an office in San Francisco. We had an appointment yesterday afternoon. Sometimes you can tell a lot about the doctor from the energy of their staff. Her office people were bright, happy and cheerful! Well, the doc was quiet but was compassionate and a had a good sense of humour. She also had her own ultrasound machine in the exam room so she got a really good view of the breasts right there and then! An excellent on site diagnostic tool.

Basically she agreed with the first doctors treatment plan except she felt confident in doing a lumpectomy with 1cm margins and with no subsequent radiation or tamoxifen therapy. The first doc recommended these adjuvant therapies with a lumpectomy.

She also said a mastectomy with a sentinel node biopsy was also an option if my risk tolerance for recurrence of cancer was low.

Three surgeons and three treatment plans. Now I just have to decide which doc I want and then what surgery.

***A Halloween Treat***

Photo: Lyla & Zeb are my *Halloween Stars*. Very cool "We are not amused" facial expressions. (Luckily, they understand their crazy mother ;)

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Hint: they are modeling some of my 'Be Happy' doctor visiting outfit.

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Have a great day!!!

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(BOO!)

The Second Opinion

Photo: One never knows what to expect.....

Ron And I drove to San Francisco for the next meeting with the 2nd breast surgeon. This doc was referred to me by my gynaecologist. I dressed up for Halloween as a special treat for the

medical community, not too way out - just interesting ;) (You might even get to see me, soon!)

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Hospital and doctor offices, etc. are very, well you know, have a certain clinical "Je ne sais quoi". I feel that spreading love and whimsy where there can be so much suffering can help lighten people's spirits.

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This doc had a very different treatment plan from the 1st doc. He would remove a small area of tissue with 1mm margins around the tiny metal marker. This marker was placed in my breast when they did the biopsy, positioned in the area where the tissue was removed. There was no lump or solid mass to begin with, so after the biopsy when all the microcalcifications were removed, they needed a visible marker to relocate the area.

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The doctor didn't recommend radiation or hormone therapy, as he felt the area was very small and at an early stage. If the pathology report later found that the margins were not "clean" (i.e. that there are still deviant cells present), then the doc would have to re-excise the area again.

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The doc quoted an earlier study of women with DCIS who had only an excision of the area and no further treatment. While there was some recurrence (less than 10% for low grade 30%-40% for high grade) they were able to effectively treat the recurrence.

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I decided to get a 3rd opinion. To have two breast surgeons differ so enormously in their treatment plans is unsettling. Who's right?! (I hope the second one :) I have an appointment Thursday with a female surgeon who comes highly recommended. Maybe this needs a women to sort this out ;)

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Until the next time....

Gratitude

Photo: Our beautiful planet Earth

Click on this video link for a special treat (not trick ;):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9z2ELaBVJY

(Thank you, sweet Schuyler, for this link!)

When the chocolate hits the fan...

Photo: Lyla empathizes with me

Well, yesterday was a difficult day. I ended up not visiting the monks at the Monastery as I realized I really needed to prepare well for the consultation with the breast surgeon later in the afternoon.

On the ride to the appointment I painted red hearts and "love" on my chest and had a nice artful bindu mark on my forehead. Sorry, didn't get a photo - will do next time.

We picked up a copy of all my records (films, reports, etc.) at the women's resource center where I had all of the prior "work" done.

At the surgeon's office we were shown into the exam room and I was requested to undress from the waist up and don a nifty exam cape. I replied to the nurse that I wanted to first meet the doctor fully clothed and then I would be happy to "cape up". I don't think she really agreed with me and I got a bit of a irritated look.

Nurse came back a bit later and took my temp., blood pressure (106/69 a little high for me ;) & pulse. The doc arrived a little while later, he kindly knocked before coming in - always a nice touch.

The consult was over 1 1/2 hrs long and we covered a lot of territory. The doc was very knowledgable and quite compassionate - two musts! He gave me a thorough physical check up including a breast check which was a little painful as my left breast is still healing from the biopsy. I have a hematoma behind the nipple where the tissue was removed and it is still tender. But the doc did try to be careful.

On examining my right breast he remarked that I had quite a few lumps (yes - I know), I mentioned that they supposedly were diagnosed as benign by the radiologist's ultrasound report. Anyway we then proceeded to pull out all the films and Ron brilliantly had brought the laptop and our set of records as they hadn't included the breast ultrasound CD in the doc's set.

He pointed out that on the mammogram film because I'm 41 and premenopausal that my breast tissue is very dense and therefore shows up as very white on the x-ray film. Suspicious areas on the film also show up white so it is pretty much impossible to get a clear view of the breast interior. The doc suggested I get a MRI of both of the breasts to help get a better read on them. Breast MRI's are sensitive and are good at showing up lots of things and so false positives can be common. I'm worried what they might find, especially on the right breast! (Please - can I at least just keep one healthy breast!!).

Okay, things get a bit blurry after this as sooooo much was talked about. Ron brought the tape recorder - so we got it all on tape. The doc gave a run down on the difference between cells -healthy and cancerous. And then went on to lots of other stuff but I'll only speak of the pertinent bits.

Even though they only found DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ (non-invasive)) there could be invasive cancer in the breast that wasn't in the biopsy specimen. The nipple area is where all the highest collection of nerves, ducts and lymph are (the biopsy was right behind the nipple). Lymph could carry cells within the lymph system and beyond. He offered me two choices, yes, the same ones I spoke of earlier in the blog. Lumpectomy with 1cm margins (there goes my nipple), radiation and Tamoxifen or mastectomy with sentinel node biopsy.

The biggest shock for me was I had been planning in maybe having surgery a few months from now and he was thinking of surgery in terms of a few weeks! YUCK!

We had further discussion on various other stuff but I'll continue tomorrow.

I think I will go to bed now - very tired as I didn't sleep very well last night(!)

Sweet dreams ;)

Flickr Album!

Photo: Esalen sunset

Dearest Ones,

If you want to check out extra photos from the Esalen trip I set up a Flickr account :)

www.flickr.com/photos/wildarabella/

I finially dismantled my tent from the hilltop. The rains came early this year (California has two seasons - wet and dry) and my poor tent got soaked but I was happy to find only 3 tiny puddles on the floor. Dearest Raphael helped me bring it down the hill. I still have to do a lot of winter prep for the property.

Tomorrow I'm going to visit the monks at Abhayagiri Monastery in Redwood Valley and offer chocolate biscuits (cookies to the US crowd) for their lunch. (I believe others are offering other food but if all we get is 'chocie biccies' that's okay ;)

And then it's "funtime" and in the afternoon I get to visit with the first scheduled breast surgeon on my list. I'll let you know what the Doc sez.

May we all be healthy, happy, and safe.

The Esalen Experience

Photo: Esalen Institute & the Pacific

My quick summary of Esalen Institute: (On the central California Coast - 238 miles south of us)

Location: Outstanding
Food: Excellent
Seminar: Brilliant
Facilities: Rustic, Funky & Charming
Grounds: Magical
Our Bedroom: The Car

We went to attend the Donna Eden course which I wrote about earlier that my cousin, Gerald, in the UK had highly recommended to me. She has worked with Energy Medicine for many years and has evolved a system of health to support the mind and body in healing and staying healthy. She can actually directly work with the body's energy systems. The course was a very fast paced and hands on experience to teach us on how to work with ourselves and others. I think she has to be one of the most joyous, happy people I have ever been around. She is incredible! Always positive, outgoing and loving. A good example of "walking your talk"!

Our decision to attend the course was literally last minute - we registered the same day it started, knowing there was only classroom space and no accommodation at the Center. Our dear friend, Raphael, so kindly stayed at our house to take care of the"furkids". We threw all the sleeping gear and tent in the car (Honda van with back seats removed!)) but hoped to get a room at a nearby hotel. Alas, the Big Sur area was booked up for the weekend. Ron made a great bed set up in the car for the first (& 2nd!) night and we slept on a "pull out" off the road, on Hwy 1, near the entrance to Esalen. (They don't let you even sleep in your car in the parking area!) We woke up to a great view of the Pacific and the sound of pounding surf - very invigorating and lovely.

We had had a stressful drive down the night before in the rain, fog and dark after getting a late start. It took us 4 1/2 hours of driving southwards with the last part the most difficult. The coast road is very windy with steep cliff drop offs on one side and rock falls from the cliffs from the other side! We missed the evening talk and the evening dinner but there was a huge chocolate cake with fresh cream and fudge topping left for late comers. So, of course, we helped ourselves. I ate mine for a pre-breakfast appetizer the next morning and then felt very sick. But it was definitely worth it ;)

Oh, and we partook of the famous Esalen hot tub experience the first night. There are thermal springs that apparently gush out at 80 gallons a minute. Over the years hot tubs have been crafted to make use of this warm and slightly sulfurous smelling water. (The local Native Americans (the "Esselens"), historically, used the area as a sacred healing place). Ron and I mellowed out in one that was lined with rocks and was cantilevered over the cliff face about seventy feet up or so from the rocky beach and pounding ocean. Very cool (and warm)!

The weekend created an extremely supportive environment for getting me ready for my health challenge in the next few months. I came away with many great tools to use and integrate into my holistic healing journey, and to use for the rest of my life. I thank my wonderful husband for making the weekend happen. He literally dropped everything that he was working on and said " Let's just GO!" Thank you my Sweetest and Dearest!!!

The Good News

Many people who have a diagnosis of different ailments often say that it was a gift and turned out to be life transforming in a very positive way. Here's a list of things that make me very grateful. (Apart from basic necessities like clean water, food, shelter and not fearing for my safety that many people in the world don't have).

1. I have a very strong life practice, one could call it a spiritual practice, for me it is the whole foundation of my life and how I choose to live. The three main practices are: Generosity; Integrity; and Wisdom or cultivation of the heart/mind. These three are it in a nutshell and also include the qualities of love, compassion, joy, freedom, etc.

2. My husband. I am so incredibly fortunate to have a life partner that is such a profoundly loving, generous, wise, compassionate, caring, intelligent, beautiful person. I am an extremely lucky woman to have such a perfect companion.

3. I have an extraordinary community of family and friends. Having this diagnosis has brought out so much love and concern. I know we love each other and this has just given us chance to renew our connection!

4. My access to superior medical care is the best. I have good medical insurance,(all the years in paying thousands of dollars and I now get to cash in!! ) I also have access to amazing alternative medicine which I am exploring to truly be an alternative or complementary.

5. My diagnosis of DCIS is close to 100% curable with further treatment!

6. I get to write this blog which I would never have done otherwise ;)

So, things aren't as bad as one thinks.

Be happy. Every moment is precious.

The Pathology Report

Photo: A few members of my cheering committee

I received the call yesterday from the Doc, himself, the radiologist who did the biopsy. He apologised for the long delay in getting the results - usually it only takes 1-3 days to receive the final pathology report. Mine took 10 days. Good for equanimity practice.

Unfortunately the results indicated DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ). The current western medical treatment for this is either lumpectomy with 1cm clean margins, radiation and also possible hormone therapy. Or if one wants to avoid radiation a mastectomy.

DCIS has a 40% chance of turning into invasive cancer; and 60% don't. Women who died of something else in old age, subsequently had autopsies (best to be dead first) and a number showed DCIS present but lived their whole lives with the cancer staying in situ and not turning invasive.

I now be researching everything on DCIS. But my first step in healing is working with the body and mind as an energy system. I went to a Donna Eden talk last night in SF - she is literally out of this world. A totally brillant healer. There is a weekend course she is leading this weekend at Esalen in Big Sur that Ron and I are going to attend! Her website is http://www.donnaeden.com/ if you want to check her work out.

Northern California is finially getting rain. It doesn't rain for 6 months through the summer and then - bham - it pours down. We have a higher annual rainfall average than Britain!

Send love, prayers, good thoughts, metta, huggs to yourself, me and everyone around you.

Waiting for the pathology report

Photo: Says it all

I received a call from the breast center nurse the day after my biopsy to let me know that the slides had been sent to Vanderbilt University for a second opinion. It was unclear if the tissue cells the pathologist was looking at were just atypical or non invasive cancer also known as DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ). I was to expect the results by Thursday. Thursday arrived and I got a call to inform me that there had been a delay with getting the results but would hopefully have them by Friday! Friday came and I got another call to inform me that they were having a large fundraiser that evening and there would be no one to call me with the results if they came in.

This all seemed too weird and surreal. I felt like getting angry, and letting people know that this is very uncaring and inconsiderate. How would you like to be left hanging out there not knowing if you had cancer or not?!! But this whole journey was already stressful enough - why add to it. Then I realized I could call Vanderbilt directly - which we did. It turns out they were still waiting for the whole block of tissue to arrive (Vanderbilt had requested this, as obviously, they needed to look at more of the tissue as the slides sent were inconclusive). We then called the lab over here in California and lucked out and got through to the one person who knew the scoop. They were only just getting the tissue "block" FedEx'ed from the lab. Vanderbilt wouldn't get the sample until Monday.

So now I knew that I wouldn't get the results until next Tues or Wed. This is all fuel for my practice of letting go and accepting things the way they are. Do everything you can and then you have to just be with what is!

Tuesday arrived and got a call from the nurse - no results. Wednesday arrived - no one called, so, that's right, no results. Waiting, waiting, waiting. The waiting practice.

More later; just wait, okay?

The Biopsy (warning: needles are used!)

Photo: Who's that?!

Before the biopsy I had couple weeks to do much research on the net. This included everything from the western medicine models to many of the other healing modalities based on treating the body and mind from a holistic perspective. I have a background in holistic health so I have some familiarity with and have always been interested in energy medicine. Remember Einstein’s E = mc2. Many healing modalities are based on this premise. Acupuncture, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, yoga, etc.

My cousin Gerald, from Birmingham, UK, a few weeks earlier had recommended a healer, Donna Eden. So I followed up and ordered a bunch of her materials –and bingo, the perfect stuff! Then a new friend Kathy recommends Rose, a Jin Shin Jytsu healer who lives nearby; we have had a number of sessions with her and she is the wonderful. And I just had an acupuncture treatment today with Noe, a fabulous natural healer. These therapies can be termed either alternative or complementary, depending on how one uses them. These go together with the usual healthy lifestyle which is an essential part of holistic healing.

This preparation is actually a recipe for truly taking care of oneself throughout your life - getting a health crisis is a jolt to wake up. Don't take good health for granted! Having a strong body goes with having a strong mind. I have a practice of cultivating the mind. Can I stay steady even with this health issue.

Oct. 1st My wonderful husband came with me to the biopsy, and our dear friend, Raphael, came too. They were great support in the waiting room - I felt I was in good hands ;)

Ron asked if they could also be present in the procedure room and wonderfully were allowed to accompany me. It was bit of a party room. The cast is: Me the patient, tech lady, the doc, husband Ron and Friend Raphael. (When tech lady left to get the doc we had a quick "toning" session to stablise the energy).

I lay with my arm above my Head offering my left breast for sacrifice, no sorry, for a weeny little bit of tissue sample. Tech lady located the "calcs" in my left breast with ultrasound device, with us all watching the screen up on the wall (kinda like movie time). Then the doc came in and set up all the goodies to extract the little calcium deposits - about the size of salt grains (there was no indication of a lump or nodule). He calmly explained the plan of action: numb skin of the breast; numb interior of breast; insert biopsy needle which has a vacuum device that sucks the tissue into the needle and then cuts it and then vacuums it out - very handy! And they can get a number of samples without going back in again and again so less trauma.

So I watch the screen observing the inserting of the needle to numb the breast tissue. Then the large biopsy needle comes in view that sucks and cuts; it appeared just below the calcs, I see them suctioned in, and then I see them disappear. He takes 4 samples. It's all kind of surreal as I can't feel anything except for a little stinging at the beginning. But I notice the tech ladys face contort when he inserts the needles especially the larger one as he has to do a few jab like pushes to get it in. Ron is looking at me and Raphael is watching the big screen.

The actual biopsy was pretty quick. The Doc showed us the tissue samples, about an inch long and swimming in a little jar in clear fluid. The tech lady applied pressure to stop the bleeding from a 1/2 inch incision, then put "steri strips" over it - no stitchs needed, and then a pressure bandage to finish up. No one fainted during the party and we all exited the stage set!

Alas, not all was finished for me. I get to have a mammogram to check on the metal clip that they left behind as a souviner. This metal marked the location of the biopsy for future reference.

Luckily they don't sqeeze the machine down on me hard.

I then go home and get "therapy ice cream" on the way home - good medicine and good husband. The Pathology report is due back the next day or a couple of days later if they send it out for a second opinion. (But that is another story...for tomorrow...aka, 'the waiting game'.)

No dreaming of needles now....night, night.

Longer version contd.

Photo: Western swallowtail flutter by

It is very eye opening to find out that there are many younger women who have breast cancer. Women in there 20's and 30's are diagnosed every day. Many have young children.

I'm 41 and my first mammogram that I had at 38 showed the calcifications that I'm am now being treated for. The radiologist back then actually missed them. We only found this out when we them picked up the films a few weeks ago. Ron looked at them as we sat in the car and, yep, there they were. I am a very strong advocate to have a copy of all your medical records.

It's your body; your health; your life.

I had another mammogram at age 40 at a different center and the radiologist saw the "calcs" in my left breast and noted them as benign.

This year (Aug 16th)my gynecologist felt a lump in my right breast and ordered a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound.

But during the mammogram (Aug 24th), after they had taken the first pictures, they decided to do extra macro x-rays of my left breast. It was then decided to do an ultrasound on both my breasts.

(Sept 4th) Ultrasound done of both breasts. I watch on the screen and see the interior of my breasts; they reveal many benign cysts (which is what the gynecologist felt.) The technician was great - very compassionate and gave me a warm blanket and soothing music playing. These do make a difference! I was also meditating, reflecting on kindness for my body and ultimately the inherent vulnerability of our human body/condition.

Breasts tend to be a more private part of the body. Suddenly having to bare all to various medical personnel is an 'interesting experience'.

A balance between letting go, doing this to be healthy and also connecting to all the other people who have health issues, this is what we have to all go through.

At the end of the test I ask if I can have the results of the test right away. The technician comes back 10 mins later and I know from her body language and the way she says "well, your right breast is fine (right there you know the bad news is coming) but the radiologist recommends a ultrasound guided core biopsy of the left breast". Yum -doesn't just everyone want one of those?!

My beloved husband was patiently waiting for me, I had been gone almost 2 hours (I also had a pelvis ultrasound that had an all clear). I tell him the results and we schedule a biopsy for 17th Sept. I do tons of research on the net and find a video clip of a vacuum assisted core biopsy, it's easier for me if I know exactly what's gonna happen.

The 17th Sept looms closer and after a few days of sitting with this I realize I need more time as I have been researching the whole breast cancer (BC) scene on the net. I’m like a dry sponge just soaking up all the information. I like to know pretty much everything and then some. I reschedule for the 1st October. Phew – breathing space.

I’m on a mission to learn and give myself the opportunity to come up with a truly wholistic health plan to support myself through this. I believe my body is saying "okay time to now take care of me”. 20’s and 30’s – “Young and Immortal”. I’m 41 – the party's over.

The girl guide /scout motto “ Be prepared”. One never knows what is around the next corner – Be prepared!

Biopsy time - next post!

Longer version (scroll down to see shorter one :)

Photo: Bodega Bay, California

Here are some known facts about breast cancer.

1. Risk factors: the two highest risk factors are: being a female and getting older.

There are obviously many others like genetics, lifestyle, etc. but just considering the first two is sobering enough to make you wish you were a young male, oops- sorry just joking (Too much testosterone anyway).

A good start if you are a female is to get to know your breasts really well. As one breast surgeon noted "get to know the landscape of your breasts intimately" so you can detect any unusual changes sooner rather than later, and then follow up by closely watching and/or getting it checked medically.

Get a annual professional check up. Countries have different protocols for breast exams. The US is monthly self breast checks from age 20 and a then a baseline mammogram between age 35-40 and then annually from age 40.

Check out these websites for more info.

http://www.komen.org/

http://www.breastcancer.org/

http://www.bcaction.org/

http://www.susanlovemd.com/

Prevention is far better than a cure - really! I believe there are many factors why cancer and other diseases appear in our bodies. Truly take the greatest care of yourselves.

Physically: - healthy diet, regular exercise (yes!), avoiding or limiting exposure to the many pollutants/poisons around us (herbicides, insecticides, chemicals, many 'off the shelf' products that we clean, wash, spray, eat (it's in our foods). These are a few of the obvious ones.

Mentally/emotionally:- stress in its many forms, (anger, fear, worry, etc.) I believe this is a huge factor. Our bodies produce many chemicals of its own that come from reactionary mind states. We need to learn what our areas of stress are and then to practice disengaging ourselves from what is causing our reactions that push the system into unhealthy physical responses.

The mind has the power to hinder and it has the power to heal!

Well, this a start.

More later. Be kind to yourselves

Health Issue

Here's the scoop. I'll do a short version and then a long(er) version. You can choose one or both.

Aug 16th Annual medical checkup - docter found lump in right breast. She recommends diagnostic mammogram and ultra sound of right breast.

Aug 24th: mammogram taken. But they are concerned with the left breast - they take extra macro pictures of it. And recommend ultra sound of both breasts. A small cluster of microcalicifications are seen on the pictures. These can indicate changes in the breast cells and give us "a heads up". The right breast is okay - both breasts have benign cysts present.

Sept 4th: Ultrasound performed on both breasts with extra imaging of the left. I watch the screen and observe the "calcs" as they call them. The radiologist recommends an ultra sound guided biopsy.

Oct 1st: Biopsy done (will write more on that one!). Now waiting for final pathology report. It was sent to Vanderbilt University for a second opinion. Preliminary findings indicate atypical cells possibly non-invasive carcinoma. Will have path. report back Tues or Wed.

Time for bed will do the long version tomorrow!

Sleep well.

Don't forget the dogs!

Here is the rest of the gang. Lyla and Zeb. Both rescued from the local shelter.

If you like you can check out all their own webpages on Dogster and Catster.

Zeb: http://www.dogster.com/dogs/439185
Lyla: http://www.dogster.com/dogs/439537
Arabella: http://www.catster.com/cats/439621
Wildman: http://www.catster.com/cats/439644

Okay - next post will be about me.

(There is a husband, too. I'll get to him sometime ;)
P.S.He is the BEST!!

Welcome!

Hello family, friends and all,

Above photo is part explanation for the name "Wildarabella" - this photo is the "Wild" part. As in "Wildman - the cat who never grew up"; life for him is one wild and exciting ride. (He is about 12 weeks old in this pic).

Next post will be about ......

Arabella!

Sorry - make that "Princess Arabella". And she knows it. A year older than her very naughty brother and a very beautiful tabby with strong "red" genetics(!) Both Wildman and Arabella, sorry, Princess Arabella were foster kittens rescued from the local shelter and bottle fed from a few weeks old.

So, now you know - "Wildarabella" aka Jo, Joby, Joanne, Carudhamma. (Sorry, no princess for me - well, okay, sometimes ;)

In the next post I'll get into the "other stuff"